As a soccer parent, you may harbor hopes that your child will make it as a professional, or you at least want them to perform to the best of their abilities. But a bad soccer parent has the potential to take all the fun out of the game for a child.
Horror stories involving parents attacking referees are by no means unheard of, and while that may be rare, there are several examples of poor conduct that should be avoided if you want your children to get the most out of the game.
Here are five of the worst things a soccer parent can do.
1. Push the Child too far
Soccer at a young age is about enjoyment. If a child is constantly being hassled from the sidelines, it is likely to affect their mental state and performance. Children withdrawing into their shell as a result of too many demands from pitch side is a negative consequence of a parent expecting too much. If you criticize a youngster for a poor pass or bad miss, their self esteem is likely to diminish and more mistakes will follow. Inappropriate expectations undermine confidence, and such behavior means children are less likely to think for themselves. Let the coach give the advice and save constructive criticism for after the match. Pressure from parents and coaches is a primary factor in kids dropping out of the sport.
2. Undermine the Coach
Parents should go to games primarily to provide encouragement and transport for their children. Tactical instructions during play should be avoided at all costs because this is the job of the coach. If a child is receiving contrasting instructions from a coach and parent, it is likely to confuse them as they look to please both parties. The advice may be well meaning, but ultimately it is undermining for the coach and confusing for the child. If you want to be a coach, put yourself forward.
3. Badmouth the Referee
Ever see the scene in
The Sopranos where Silvio Dante enters the field of play and bawls at the referee, before kicking dust at him in a comical fashion? There may have been delicious irony to the scene, but parents berating referees is a common occurrence. It is also completely unhelpful. Think of the pressure indirectly applied to the child (and their teammates), and the shocking example it sets to youngsters prone to copying their parents and thinking such behavior is acceptable. Despite what Bill Shankly said, soccer is not a matter of life and death. Stay away from the ref and never swear.
4. Offend the Opposition
Referees are not alone in coming under fire from maddened parents. Abuse of opposition players, parents and supporters is another example of taking the game too seriously. It is just plain embarrassing when a parent feels they have carte blanche to berate anyone they like. When disagreements between rival parents degenerate into slanging matches, no one looks good, while slating a child on the opposition team is shameful.
5. Be a Know it all Parent
Some parents act as if they invented the game, giving the child an inferiority complex in the process. The parent who recoils all their great matches while affording the child little praise or encouragement is a bore. Parents may play the game themselves, they may watch matches or even possess coaching badges. But those who provide a constant analysis of what the child is doing right and wrong risk taking the fun out of the game and turning them off the sport altogether. Parents who discourage skills and expression and instill a ‘win at all costs’ mentality into youngsters also undermine coaches attempting to get children playing soccer the right way. Soccer at youth level is less about results and points, and more about enjoyment.
